1. Talk with your child.  Tell your child that you are concerned about him or her and that you'd like to help.  Here are some questions that can get the discussion going: 

• "I'm worried about you.  Are there any kids at school who may be picking on you or bullying you?"
• "Are there any kids at school who tease you in a mean way?"
• "Are there any kids at school who leave you out of things on purpose?"
  
  Some more subtle questions are:
  "Do you have any special friends at school this year?  Who are they?  Who do you hang out with?"
• "Who do you sit with at lunch or on the bus?"
• "Are there any kids at school who you really don't like?  Why don't you like them?  Do they ever pick on you?"

1. Talk with staff at your child's school.  Call or set up an appointment to talk with your child's teacher.  He or she will probably be in the best position to understand the relationships between your child and other peers at school.  Share your concerns about your child and ask the teacher such questions as:

• "How does my child get along with other students in his/her class?"
• "With whom does he/she spend free time?"
• "Have you ever noticed or have your ever suspected that my child is bullied by other students?"

Ask the teacher to talk with other adults who interact with your child at school (such as the music teacher, physical education teacher or bus driver) to see if they have observed students bullying your child.  If you are not comfortable talking with your child's teacher, or if you are not satisfied with the conversation, make an appointment to meet with your child's guidance counselor, and/or principal to discuss your concerns.  If you obtain information from your child or from staff at your child's school that lead you to believe that he or she is being bullied, take quick action.

1. Work with your child if he/she is being bullied to:

• Report bullying to an adult at school and at home--do not just 
  "ignore it."
• Stand and speak with confidence.
• Leave the scene of the bullying immediately.
• Make decisions at home promoting confidence.
• Find a "best friend."
• Do not fight back.

1. Take the problem seriously.  Your child may have continuing trouble in their relationships with others if the behavior is left unattended.
   
   
2. Talk to your child and to his or her teachers and administrators.  Keep in mind that a bully will try to deny or minimize his or her wrong-doing.
   
   
3. Make it clear to your child that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior, and discuss with your child the negative impact bullying has on the victims.  Do not accept explanations that "it was all in fun."
   
   
4. Apply clear, consistent, escalating consequences, which are in proportion with the severity of your child's actions, and his or her age and stage of development.
   
   
5. Increase your supervision of your child's activities and whereabouts, and who they are associating with.  Spend time with your child, and set reasonable rules for their activities and curfews.
   
   
6. Cooperate with the school in modifying your child's aggressive behavior.  Frequent communication with teachers and/or administrators is important to find out how your child is doing in changing his or her behavior.
   
   
7. Praise the efforts your child makes toward non-violent and responsible behavior, as well  as for following home and school rules.  Keep praising any efforts the child makes.
   
   
8. Limit your child's exposure to models of aggressive behavior such as violent television, movies, video games and abusive people.
   
   
9. As a parent, be a good role model for constructively solving problems and getting along with others.
   
   
10. Seek help from a school psychologist, social worker or children's mental health center if you would like support in working with your child.